Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind
by Super Chocolate Bear
Summary: Delve into the minds of the Teen Titans and Titans East.
1. Prologue: The Plan

Disclaimer: Teen Titans (and all DC and WB related stuff) isn't mine. Got it?

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

_**Prologue: The Plan**_

Robin sat in the room that had been dubbed by the other Titans as his 'office'. Robin didn't like the name himself, not liking the formal feeling the word 'office' let off. It made him feel like he was running a business rather than a team of teenage superheroes. In any case, Robin had let the name slide, simply because he didn't care enough to make a fuss about it, but also because no one took him seriously when he was angry anyway. They only took it seriously when he was _really _angry.

Robin sighed.

He _had _retreated to the room to get his mind off the various distractions around the tower, specifically one _big _distraction that he wasn't particularly ready to face up to yet. He was trying to work on some leads given to him by the Jump City Police Department. There had been a recent rash of thefts in the area of high priced art and artefacts from museums and the like, and Robin was desperately trying to piece together any of the clues for the identity of the thief. But the truth was that his heart was not in it. Usually, he poured his heart and soul into these investigations, resulting in an unhealthy amount of time spent alone in this small room. To begin with, it hadn't occurred to him how much he was becoming like Batman until the incident with Slade's mask. It was a testament to how much the experience shook him that Robin could only call it an 'incident' before trying to redirect his mind elsewhere.

He sighed again.

It was no good. He was being driven mad by the aforementioned distraction, and trying to turn his attention elsewhere wasn't going to work this time. He attempted to look at the problem logically. How did he usually deal with problems? He carefully constructed a plan and carried it out to the letter. Unfortunately, this wasn't a logical problem. It was purely emotional. But that didn't mean he couldn't try to apply logic to it. He rummaged around his desk for a blank sheet of paper and a pencil. Upon finding them, he scribbled a list of names on to the paper:

_1. Aqualad_

_2. Batman_

_3. Beast Boy_

_4. Bumblebee_

_5. Cyborg_

_6. Mas_

_7. Menos_

_8. Raven_

_9. Speedy_

_10. Starfire_

Robin looked at the list. Did he deliberately put Starfire at the end? He shook his head. The suggestion was ridiculous. The list was alphabetical. That was the only reason she was last. He checked down the list again and groaned as he spotted Batman's name. He turned the pencil around and erased his name from the list. Robin already knew what his response would be anyway, so why bother? He lifted the list up to look at it once more, and yawned mightily. It was a rather simple plan, but he thought it could work. He realised that in order for his grand plan to be truly effective, he would need to be awake. Satisfied with his work for the night, he stood up and left his 'office'.

He went to the common area to check the time, and was surprised to see everyone still up. He entered, and was greeted by the usual faces. And by the usual faces, he meant Starfire. Beast Boy and Cyborg were absorbed in their usual _Space Race Tournament 4 _marathon, while Raven was similarly engrossed in a book, only looking up to give Cyborg or Beast Boy a glare, depending on who made the most noise. Robin looked over at the clock and saw that it was nearing midnight.

"Good evening, friend Robin," Starfire said happily, looking up from a bowl full of… something blue. Robin hoped he didn't look as ill as the stuff in the bowl made him feel.

"Hi, Starfire. What's cooking?"

"I am not cooking."

Robin raised an eyebrow as he pointed at the bowl. "So, what's this?"

"This is _kmarganarff_," she said, looking back down at her bowl.

Robin sat on a stool on the other side of the counter. "And what's kmargen… kmarg…?"

"_Kmarganarff _is…" she put her eyes to the ceiling as she seemed to contemplate the correct translation. She cast her eyes back downward sheepishly and played with her hair as she blushed. "I am afraid I do not know the correct word to describe it," she said with a shy smile.

Robin smiled back, trying to reassure her. "It's okay, Star. I'll just try and guess. So… I'm guessing you don't eat it?"

She shook her head vehemently. "Most certainly not. It is quite toxic to ingest, even with nine stomachs."

Robin nodded slowly. It still disturbed him that there were nine stomachs squeezed into that tiny body along with all the other internal organs. "Okay… is it for Silkie?"

"I do not wish to kill Silkie, Robin," she said with a disapproving tone.

"Okay, okay… um… do you… put it on your face?"

Starfire gasped as her eyes lit up. "Yes!"

Robin smiled, trying hard not show how goofily happy he felt. "Okay. That's what we call a face mask, I think."

"A… face mask. Yes, that seems accurate."

Robin tilted his head slightly. "Why do you need a face mask? I mean, you're pretty-" he stopped himself short as he realised that Cyborg and Beast Boy had stopped their game to listen to their conversation. He also noticed Raven looking at them over her book.

"What?"

Cyborg smirked. "Nothin', lover boy."

The smirk was contagious, apparently, because it soon spread to Beast Boy as they turned around, snickering. Robin glowered at the back of their heads, and whipped his eyes on to Raven, who had put the book in front of her face to hide the small smile on her own lips. Robin tried his best to fight the heat climbing into his cheeks, and turned back to face Starfire.

"Uh… I'm gonna… um… I think I'll call it a night."

She smiled in a way that Robin had never seen before, and nodded, keeping her eyes down on the bowl.

"Yes, Robin. Good night."

Robin pushed himself up off his stool, and walked over to the sofa, slapping Beast Boy and Cyborg round the back of the heads before turning around to leave for his room.

"OW! What'd you do that for?" Cyborg yelled.

"Yeah dude! It's not our fault!" Beast Boy agreed, rubbing the back of his head.

Robin headed out through the doors and stopped once they had closed. He pulled the piece of paper out of a compartment in his utility belt, and looked at the list again.

_The sooner I implement this, the better._

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(A/N: A bit short, I know, but it _is _a prologue. You like? You hate? Review and tell me.)


	2. Aqualad

Disclaimer: Teen Titans (and all DC and WB related stuff) isn't mine. Got it?

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

_**Chapter One: Aqualad**_

Hi, I'm Aqualad, and I'm a member of the Titans East. Yes, that's right, Aqua_lad_. Don't ask me, it's Arthur's fault. I would have been happy with Aquaboy, or Aquadude. But, Aqualad was what I was given, so that's what I stick with. I haven't got much right to complain, considering how much Arthur has done for me. Arthur is my adopted father, by the way. You probably know him better as Aquaman, the King of Atlantis. It's a nice place, but a bit too… regal, if you know what I mean. There isn't much to do by the way of relaxing, you know? It's pretty tense and formal almost all of the time. Now that I think of it that's probably why I joined the Teen Titans in the first place.

Anyway, I'm getting off the point. Today was like any other day, except we got a communiqué from the Titans West. They don't like being called the Titans West though, because they were here first. Which is fair enough, I suppose. It doesn't bother me. Anyway, usually these communiqués are from Cyborg, since he had a hand in creating the Titans East, not to mention building the tower. I like Cyborg. He's a cool guy. He can get a bit too stressed out over little things, but then again that could just be a matter of opinion. The others probably don't think it's a big deal to eat fish, but I do. I just don't understand how you can actually _eat _fish. It just… ugh. Anyway, getting off the point again.

It wasn't Cyborg this time, it was Robin. Usually that would mean something pretty serious, but he asked specifically for me. Now that seemed weird to me for a start. It's not that Robin and I don't get along, it's pretty much the opposite, but we never really… well, we were never really good friends. But I figure that if I can become good friends with Speedy, then I can be friends with anyone. So, Robin asked for me. I wasn't busy at the time (just playing console games) so I took the call. Mas and Menos get so enthralled by those things, and I just don't really get why. Maybe it's my Atlantien upbringing, but I just don't find those games that interesting. Sure, they're entertaining and all, but overall… I prefer movies. Now those are interesting.

Back to Robin. It was obviously a private thing, since he hadn't used the big screen to talk to me, but instead used the private line that each of us have in our rooms. I can't remember the conversation word for word, but I'll give it a try:

Robin looked a bit troubled as he started speaking. "Aqualad," he said, nodding his head in greeting.

I nodded back, and tried to smile without seeming too friendly. "Robin. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice?"

"About what?"

"Well, uh… about, uh… relationships… within the team."

I nodded slowly. I knew what he was talking about, but I couldn't resist stringing him along. I was having a boring day. Sue me. "What kind of relationship?"

He didn't like that, and I tried to hide my smile. "Well, uh… a, uh… romantic… one?"

"Okay… well that would depend."

Robin raised an eyebrow, his earlier nervousness fading. "Depend? On what?"

I removed all amusement from my mind as I noticed that Robin was pretty serious about this. "On whether it's serious or not."

"It is. At least, it feels like it is."

"Then what's stopping you?"

"I can't just… what about the danger?"

"The danger?"

"If our enemies found out, then she could be… I mean…"

I raised a hand. "She's a member of the Titans, right?"

"Right."

"Then she can take care of herself. You know she can."

Robin nodded, and swallowed hard. "Yeah… right… uh… thanks Aqualad."

"Anytime. Say hi to the others for me."

"Will do."

And that was it. That was what Robin was calling about. You've got to pity the poor guy. I mean, I noticed it (it being him and Starfire) as soon as I met the Titans. Hell, most of the fish knew it. I wonder if it's some kind of running joke amongst the Titans West to just pretend it isn't there and torture Robin, or if they're really unaware of it. I'll have to talk to Cyborg about it later. Anyway, talking to Robin about relationships within the team got me thinking about the other Titans and the relationships I have with them. Not romantic ones, mind you, though I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind now and then. My thoughts went on to when I first met the original five Titans.

Beast Boy. Now _there's _an annoying guy. I tried to let it slide, I really did, but he really has a way of getting under your skin. I didn't even know what his problem was with me. I still don't, really. I'm just pleased we have a relatively friendly relationship now, so I don't want to push it in the wrong direction by hassling him about it. I never know when I'll be working with him again, after all. On the flip side, it was kind of cool to know someone my age who could swim around the ocean with me who _wasn't _from Atlantis and thereby had a stick up their behind as a result. Say what you want about Beast Boy, but he's a pretty okay guy when you get past the whole annoying thing.

Like I said before, Cyborg's a cool guy, but he can get a bit stressed over little things. But that's been covered. You know, Beast Boy is seen by the public as the funny man of the group, but Cyborg has a better sense of humour. At least, in my eyes. I mean, disco lights in the tower? I can't tell you how much that confused me at first. Anyway, Cyborg is kind of strange in that he can be really goofy and immature one minute, and really calm and controlled the next. It's a weird combination, but it works. Just like Cyborg himself, really.

Robin's a nice enough guy, but he gets stressed out even more than Cyborg, but usually only about the big things. He's a great leader from what Cyborg has told me, but I don't really talk to him or see him enough to really know what he's about. It's kind of ridiculous really. I've only met him once or twice, and yet _I _can see that he and Starfire are… well, that there's something going on there, while everyone else seems to be oblivious or ignore it completely. It just seems stupid to me to wait around. If I had that kind of thing staring me in the face, I wouldn't try to ignore or it or ask for advice, I'd just... but that's not the point. It's not me, so why complain?

Speaking of Starfire, she seems pretty nice. I mean, I'm a red blooded male, so I can see that aspect of it, and I can see what the attraction is for Robin, but… I don't know, she's just a bit too… blah for me. Does that make sense? What I mean is, she's a bit to loud and happy and… well, I prefer someone a bit quieter, a bit more… introverted, I guess.

Now I know what you're thinking… 'You're talking about Raven! Aqualad4Raven!' But that's really not the case. I like her, she's nice, but she's also got this incredibly dark and secret side to her. Now, I'm not saying she should have come up to me and said 'I'm a portal for the evil Trigon and I will help bring about the end of the world', not at all. But I prefer people to be more open with me. 'No secrets between friends' and all that. Of course, that's not to say I want to know every tiny little detail, but… never mind. It's unfair of me to judge her like that, so I'll just stop there. But, I have to admit, I have considered it once or twice… I don't know. It just doesn't seem like a good match for me. Besides, she seems to have this whole love-hate thing going on with Beast Boy, and I do _not _want to get in the middle of that.

Then there was Speedy, who I met during that tournament thing. He seemed so much like Robin it wasn't even funny, but as I got to know him as a member of the Titans East, I realised he was very different with Robin. I've been told that Robin can get very obsessed with a target, spending a lot of time alone. Well, Speedy's like that, but with himself. He's got all of Robin's skill, but none of his modesty.

Wow.

That was a pretty good summing up. Here I was thinking I would drone on and on about how much more annoying he can be that Beast Boy, but no, there you have it. Now that I think about it, I don't see that much of Speedy hanging around the tower, especially during the night and the morning. I suppose that's because he spends the morning recovering from the night before. He seems to think he's pretty popular with the ladies, but I've yet to see him with a girl. All I know is, I haven't seen his face on the covers of any magazines in the newsagents, whereas Robin is everywhere. I've even seen my face on some girls' magazines, but I really try not to pay attention.

That's one thing that I really don't enjoy about being a Teen Titan. The fame. Before I met them, I would be able to leap out of the sea and go to a shop, and the only looks I would get would be ones of confusion. Not that I would have wanted to go to a shop back then, but you get my point. Now, if even step foot outside the tower, I have to be ready to run _fast_.

'Look, it's Aqualad! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'

Ugh.

The next Titan I met was Bumblebee, and she surprised me. She wasn't what I was expecting. I certainly wasn't expecting to spend a few months straight with her as we gathered the Titans East together and built the tower. She surprised me in that from her appearance and how she acted around Cyborg… I was expecting her to be a rude, brash, loud… well, let me just say that wasn't the case, and now we're pretty good friends. She's probably one of the most mature people in the tower. Except, that is, when Cyborg's around. I'm not sure if there's something romantic there, or if they just have that kind of antagonistic relationship, but whenever they meet, they're always trading quips and insults. They always seem to enjoy it, though, so where's the harm?

Then I met Mas and Menos. Notice how I bunched them together? Because they are pretty much the same person. If they didn't wear slightly different clothing, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Not that it would matter, mind you. They only separate to go to the bathroom. That's it. Now, I know they're brothers and all, but isn't that a bit weird? Even a little? At first I just put it down to them being humans and me being Atlantien. But the more I see the looks on the others' faces… well, let's just say I'm beginning to get more than a little disturbed. Aside from the strangeness factor, I like the little guys, even though I _never _know what they're talking about.

Ever.

Sometimes it's funny, but most of the time it's infuriating. I can understand if they don't want to learn English, since it's a difficult language (I only know it so well because of Arthur's insistence), but that doesn't make it any more irritating when they're yelling at me for something and I have no idea what to do. The fact that Bumblebee and Speedy just sit and laugh doesn't help.

But, all complaints aside, I enjoy working with the Titans East. They're a pretty cool group, and on top of that, they're relaxed about most things. And besides… oops, there goes the alarm. That's the good thing about this place. You can never sit still and dwell on things for too long. Steel City won't let you.

See you later. And try not to eat any fish.

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(A/N: Fish taste good? Fish taste bad? Review!)


	3. Beast Boy

Disclaimer: Teen Titans (and all DC and WB related stuff) isn't mine. Got it?

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

**_Chapter Two: Beast Boy_**

Hey, dudes and dudettes, I'm Beast Boy, and I'm a member of the Teen Titans. Well, it's Beast Boy to the dudes, and Beast _Man _to the dudettes. I may have the body of a boy, but I've got the animal spirit of a MAN. ROWR!

Heh. Sorry about that. I'll try that again.

Hey, I'm Beast Boy, and I'm the strongest member of the Teen Titans.

What? I am.

I don't care what Cyborg says about his hydraulic arms, I can turn into an elephant! And a T-Rex! And a Hippo! A Hippo may not sound strong, but they're like, one of the strongest animals. Seriously! I saw it on a documentary.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Watching a documentary? Never!" And y'know what? You'd be right. I hate documentaries. They're boring, and long, and stupid, and they take away from vital zombie killing time. But I watch the wildlife ones. Y'know, like research.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Research? Never!" And again, you'd be right. It's Robin's stupid idea anyway. But you know what? Some of it's kinda interesting. Like that snake that digests animals over like six months or something. I'd like to see Mumbo get out of that! Y'know… I'd never admit this to the guys, but I kinda like it whenever we go up against Mumbo, 'cause he just comes out with the weirdest stuff. I mean, turning Raven into a rabbit? C'mon, _that _was funny. But he takes it too far. I mean, he turned me into a lamp. A lamp! Do you know how stupid that felt? To be a stupid lamp? I felt so stupid. Y'know, speaking of Raven, if she was here, she'd make some lame comment about how I'm always stupid. But y'know what? I'm not stupid.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Not stupid? Never!" But you'd be wrong. 'Cause I'm not stupid. I'm just not super smart like Cyborg. I mean, Starfire isn't exactly the brightest light bulb in the… I can't remember how that saying goes, but you know what I'm talking about. Starfire doesn't get things just like I do, but you don't see Raven making comments about how stupid she is, do ya? But then again, Robin isn't my boyfriend. Ewww! Did I just say that? That's just… dude! Bleagh! But you know what I mean right? I mean, Robin doesn't say that he's her boyfriend, but it's so obvious. That whole thing just seems so stupid to me, and that's why I laugh when Cy calls him out on it. It's just so funny how Robin gets all angry, y'know? As if he thinks that it's well hidden or something.

And that's what I'm here to talk about, I think. I'm not sure why I'm talking to you in the first place, but there ya go. I just kinda go along with these things. It helps in this line of work not to question stuff too much. Like, if Control Freak sucks us into the TV, then that's okay. If Raven's like a portal for some huge demon dude, then that's okay too. Anyway, it kinda hurts my head to think about those things too much. Cyborg too, but he just doesn't admit it.

But I'm not stupid though.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, Robin and Starfire. It's so obvious, and… wait, have I said that already? I have? Dude! Why didn't you say something? That's so… FFnnnrrr… anyway… I was on the Gamestation 2 playing 'Supreme Zombie Kickback 5: The Ultimate Edition' when Robin sits down next to me. Now that just freaked me out. Usually, Robin comes and says, "Where's Starfire?" or "I'm Robin, and I'm too good to play games with you Beast Boy, so I'm going to read the newspaper in the corner!"

What?

Okay, maybe he doesn't say that _out loud_, but he does say it.

What was I talking about? Robin, okay. Anyway, he was sat next to me, and that threw me off, so I was killed by one of those super fast slashing zombies, y'know, the ones with laser rakes? Anyway, I lost, and then Robin said like, "Beast Boy, I'm gonna talk now, and you're gonna listen, because I'm Robin and I dress like a Christmas tree!"

By the way, I can't remember this too well, so I'm gonna change the bits I don't remember. Anyway, here goes:

_Beast Boy: Yeah, sure Robin. I know you're jealous of me anyway, so go ahead._

_Robin: First of all, you're right Beast Boy – I suck so much it's not even funny._

_Beast Boy: Yes, you do._

_Robin: Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about romantic stuff in the teams._

_Beast Boy: Okay._

_Robin: Well, I'm too chicken to ask out Starfire by myself, so I came to you for advice first because you're so great with the ladies, and any advice you give will help me, because you're like a God._

_Beast Boy: No, no, Robin. I'm not like a God: the ladies just see me as one, is all. Anyway, team romance is cool. Just act like me and Star will have no choice but to fall in love with you._

_Robin. Yes! You are right! Now I have the confidence to ask out Starfire! Thank you Beast Boy! You are the greatest!_

_Beast Boy: Yeah, I am._

Anyway, that's the basic jist of it. Pretty weird huh? I thought so too. I mean, I just don't get what the problem is. Does Robin still believe in cooties or something? He probably has like cootie repellent in his belt. Hahahaha! That's pretty funny! I gotta start writing this stuff down! Anyway, Robin left, and I was about to start my zombie slaying again, when I started thinking about relationships and stuff in the team.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Thinking? Never!" But seriously, I was sat there thinking. I even turned off the Gamestation and sat in front of the window to think about it.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Turning off the Gamestation? Never!" Kinda freaky, huh? Anyway, I started thinking about it, and this is what came out.

Don't ask me why, but I thought of Cyborg first. Well, actually, that isn't so weird actually, seeing as he is like my best buddy. I'm not trying to be mushy, but he is. They say a good friend is the kinda guy that you can sit with when it's all quiet and it doesn't get awkward, and I can do that with Cyborg. Sometimes we just chill with a pizza and listen to music and talk about stuff; don't ask me what, just stuff. Don't get me wrong, I can talk to the other guys pretty easy, but I can't hang out with them for hours at a time. 'Course, that's not sayin' that Cy doesn't get on my nerves sometimes; actually, he does it all the time. But it's not like seriously P.O'd, it's just kinda… friendly annoyed, y'know?

Before I go on, I'd just like to say a few words about pizza. I love pizza. It's like the only fast food that doesn't have anything from animals. It only has cheese, tomato, bread stuff… wait… there's something wrong there… oh yeah, sometimes I have mushrooms as well.

Anyway, then I thought about Starfire. Okay, major confession time here. When I first met Star, I had a major crush on her. Who wouldn't? I mean, she's pretty, she laughs at my jokes (even if she doesn't get them; I've got complicated humour), and the most important thing was that she paid attention like everything I said was important. I really liked that, and I thought it was something else at the time. But then I saw her talking to everyone else, and I realised it was just Star being Star.

But then I saw something else. Whenever she talked to Robin, she would act a bit differently than she did with the rest of us. She'd move a bit closer to him when they were talking, play with her hair, that kinda stuff. And the biggest thing was that she blushed when he smiled at her. When he smiled at her! I mean, geez, it's just a smile! Anyway, I kinda gave up on her after that. The more I thought about it, the more I think it wouldn't have worked out anyway. We were a bit _too _similar, y'know? She would have gotten on my nerves after a while. But, she still pays attention when I talk, and she's still pretty (but that doesn't really occur to me anymore – much…) but she doesn't laugh at my jokes as much as she used to. She still laughs, but I think Robin's rubbing off on her too much.

Ewww. I don't even want to think about that.

That kinda led me onto Robin, and that's kinda weird. Sometimes he seems like such a big jerk, y'know? And then other times, I've even… sorta… looked up to him. Y'know, how he never panics, he always knows what to do… I can see why the kids like him so much. But I can't see why the girls like him so much. I mean, I can understand that he's handsome (even if I don't see it) and has that whole brooding thing going on, but still… whenever we go out anywhere, the girls are always like, "Look, it's Robin! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

And what's so great about the brooding thing, anyway? I think it's pretty boring.

But I'm not jealous.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Not jealous? Never!" But I'm not; not much, anyway. And he does all the stuff that I don't want to, like talking to the mayor and doing all the bills and investigating Slade and all that; I wouldn't touch that stuff with a ten foot pole if you paid me. Besides, a part of me's kinda happy that I don't have to deal with it as much; I mean, I get recognised and asked for autographs and stuff, but Robin goes through hell when we're walking down the street or through the mall. Whenever we go out for pizza, it takes us about half an hour to get rid of Robin's admirers. Of course, the other guys have their fair share.

Cyborg has the kids after him, and he loves that so there ya go (I think he really wants to be a dad); Robin gets the girls and the kids, but you already knew that; Starfire gets the pervy guys (which Robin _really _hates – it's _so _much fun to watch him getting ticked off with middle aged fat guys) and the little girls (y'know, the ones that are too young to like Robin); Raven gets the Goths and stuff, and me? I get the people somewhere in the middle. I usually get families coming up to me, which is kinda weird. Do I give off a 'family guy' smell or something? I think it's probably because, out of all of us, I'm the most normal.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Normal? Never!" But it's true. Think about it. Robin is too brooding and serious to like… relate to and stuff, Starfire is an alien, Cyborg is half robot, and Raven… well, she's Raven. But me? I'm kinda like the Peter Parker of the group, y'know? I'm the…uh… the everyday… no, that's not it… the everyman, that's it! I'm the everyman of the Teen Titans! Wow, that's pretty smart for me!

Anyway, that leaves Raven. Now there's a big question mark. I don't get her most of the time. I mean, she's my friend, and I like her, but sometimes… she just hurts my brain, y'know? I mean, most of the other guys, I can tell what they're about, even Robin, who's pretty emotional, so it's easy to tell. Raven just never shows anything, ever. At first it kinda annoyed me, but now I'm interested. 'Course, now I know why she's so in control all the time, but I've kinda made it my mission to make her laugh. Why? I don't know. It might be 'cause it's something to do, or something else I can't think of. That wouldn't surprise me. I do a lot of stuff without knowing why. But you know what? For all the times she's insulted me and I've insulted her, I consider her one of my best friends, almost next to Cyborg. I don't know if she feels the same way, but if Cyborg wasn't around and I needed someone to talk to, I'd go to Raven first. And you know what? I have _no _idea why. And it drives me crazy sometimes, it really does.

And then I thought about the Titan that meant the most to me. Above Raven, above Cyborg, above everyone else… and her name was Terra. I don't care what anyone else thinks, she was a Titan in my eyes. And I loved her. I don't care if you think I'm being mushy, because when it's about Terra, that kinda stuff just doesn't bother me; I don't get embarrassed about it because it feels so… right, y'know? Well, at least… it _felt_ right. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her. I always spend at least one moment of every day thinking about Terra. I don't know if that'll ever change, but right now, I just can't help it.

Even when it was the end of the world… and I tell you, I'd never felt so angry as when that evil me said those things about Terra. I shook it off and got to work, but it stuck with me. And, deep down, I know that no matter how much Robin and Cyborg look into it and research it, they won't be able to bring Terra back. And that hurts… a lot.

The fact that she's dead.

I'm not gonna deny it – when that thought first occurred to me, I sat in my room and cried. I remember just saying to myself, "Terra's dead." As soon as I said it, I couldn't even stand up. I still cry sometimes when the thought hits me. I don't mean blubbering like a baby, but I do cry a bit. But I still visit her once a week, to tell her what's been goin' on at the tower. I'm sure I've spotted Raven talking to her before she disappears through the floor. And that makes me happy. That Raven forgave her and even goes to visit her… it makes me feel good.

Whew. Heavy stuff, huh? Sorry to pull you down like that. I suppose that's why I get so annoyed at Robin dodging around the whole Starfire thing. But I guess I can only say that because I've lost something like that before. I just hope that Robin wakes up before something happens to Star.

Anyway, I know what you're wondering. "What about the Titans East, Beast Boy? What about _them_?" But to be honest, I don't know them too well, only Aqualad. And he used to annoy me, 'cause I thought he was a pretty boy know it all that all the girls loved, but then I realised that he was okay. Sounds like Robin so much, it's not even funny.

Wow. That took longer than I thought. Anyway, I'm kinda bored with slaughtering zombies, so I think I'll go and find Raven; see if I can make her laugh.

"What's that?" I hear you say. "Beast Boy? Make Raven laugh? Never!"

I wouldn't bet on it, dude.

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(A/N: Bad? Good? Review now!)


	4. Bumblebee

Disclaimer: Teen Titans (and all DC and WB related stuff) isn't mine. Got it?

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

**_Chapter Three: Bumblebee_**

Hey, how you doing? I'm Bumblebee, the leader of the Titans East. That wasn't always so, of course, but now I am. And let me tell you, it's _hard_. I wonder how Robin does it most of the time. Then again, I wonder if his team is anywhere near as crazy as mine seems to be. Especially those two little Spanish… ARGH!

Anyway, I wasn't always a member of the Titans East. I won't go into too much detail (that's not what I'm here to talk about, you know), but I was sent undercover to infiltrate the HIVE academy. And let me tell you, that is one weird place. The entire time I was there, all I could think about was how lucky these kids were, to have someone teaching them the tricks of their trade. We heroes get nothing. We just kind of get pushed into the spotlight with superpowers without so much as an "Okay, go get 'em kid!"

Okay, I'm here to talk to you about something weird that seems to be happening to the Titans West. They don't like being called the Titans West, according to Aqualad. Well, boo hoo. That might sound a little harsh, but get this: They're in the _West_, people. And we're in the _East_. It's not our fault our name sounds cooler, is it? But something weird is happening over the there, but more specifically, something is happening to _Robin_. Nothing _too _weird, he's not coming out of the closet or anything (always pegged Beast Boy as being that way inclined myself)… at least, I don't think he is. But in all likelihood, he's not. And do you know why? Because it's obvious. The Titans East know, the Titans West know, hell, Brother Blood probably knows, and do you know why?

Because neither of them knows what the hell they're doing. It's that simple. Of course, I'm not sure if anyone in the Titans West knows what they're doing when it comes to that stuff; Sparky especially… But I'll get to that later. Anyway, the weirdness began when Robin called up and asked to speak to Aqualad. I asked him what it was about, but he said it was private. That annoyed me, not just because I'm the leader and things shouldn't be kept from me, but because I wanted to know, dammit. And then, later on in the same day, Robin calls again, asking for me. That's when I _know _something weird is going down. It obviously wasn't an emergency, because he would have just sounded an alarm. No; this was something else.

So, I went to my room and opened my private line. I don't want to go into explicit detail about the conversation (according to Aqualad, it was pretty much identical to the one he had with Robin in the morning anyway) because it was incredibly short. He looked all awkward and mumbled something about relationships in a team, when I just stopped him short and said:

"Ask the girl out already. She obviously feels the same way, so just do it."

Then he thanked me and logged off. The look on his face was priceless. I'd never seen a guy so shocked since… I kicked Sparky's butt back in that undersea base. That was the whole conversation. Pretty stupid, huh? You wouldn't think that someone as smart and capable as Robin would have any trouble picking up a girl he had his eye on, but there you go. Evidence that God has a sense of humour.

After the call, I started thinking about what I thought of the other Titans. You know, leader stuff. I really doubt that anyone else thinks about this. How bored would you have to be? So, my thoughts drifted on to the first Teen Titan I met; Sparky. You probably call him Cyborg, but I think Sparky suits him better. You know why? Because he's so stupid sometimes it's unbelievable. Now, I know that a lot of people (a disturbing amount) think that he and I are (or that we should) perform the horizontal hokey-pokey on a regular basis. Well, we don't and probably never will. If that sound a bit regretful, I suppose it is a little bit.

I mean, he _is _pretty handsome, and I think under all that stupid stuff is a nice guy. But most of the time the stupid stuff kinda leaks out _too_ much. Here's a good example. I remember one time when we had just finished building the Titans East Tower, and Sparky showed us the disco lights he installed. I thought it was a pretty cool idea. Aqualad went for a swim, Speedy went to get some ribs, and the two Spanish amigos disappeared. So, it was just me and Sparky. So we start to dance. Nothing incredibly romantic, just a little boogie. Than dumb and dumber zoom in with some computer game console thing. And Sparky just left. I mean, left standing around for a computer game? Even if I wasn't considering anything romantic, that's just kind of… rude, isn't it?

Damn it, I sound like such a prude, complaining about manners. But they _are _important in a man, to me at least. Probably why me and Aqualad got along so famously for the few months it was just me and him. Dear God, now _there _is a good looking guy. And believe me, the thought occurred more than once; he just never showed any kind of interest _that _way. I don't know if he noticed and just ignored it or just didn't see it; I'm not exactly in your face about that kind of thing. I'm a bit more subtle. If I could say one bad thing about Aqualad (and it's pretty hard, he's perfect in almost every way), it's that he doesn't take sides on much, except for pollution and eating fish, which aren't exactly hot conversation topics. I don't expect him to be super opinionated about everything, but… whenever he criticizes anything, he backtracks afterwards, saying it's not fair for him to say that, or something like that. And it kinda gets on my nerves.

Now someone who _is _opinionated is Speedy. Now, judging by what I said about Sparky and Aqualad, you're probably expecting me to say how he was handsome and I found him a little bit attractive, but the truth is, I just didn't. From the instant I met him, I just didn't feel anything like that. And you know why? The guy almost physically oozes ego. I mean, seriously, he's a nice guy underneath it all, I'm sure, but... I have _never _seen a man so obsessed with his own appearance. Outside of a drag queen, that is. He spends more time messing with his hair in the bathroom than _I _do! Now that's saying something, let me tell you. I wouldn't mind if there was some visible result, but his hair is exactly the same when comes out of the bathroom as it was when he went in. I'm not kidding, ask Aqualad. Or Mas and Menos, if you can speak Spanish.

Here's one thing about Mas and Menos that confuses me; they only speak Spanish, right? And yet, they _always _understand what we're saying, down to the tiniest detail. Now, if they _understand _English, then why don't they just speak it? The answer? Because they _like _being annoying. That's the only explanation I can think of, and I'm sticking with it. It works well in combat situations, but outside of that, I can hardly stand them. Now, get them drunk, and it's a whole different story. They become totally different people. They just slow down… a lot. You can get tired just looking at them when they're drunk. But, you get them on a sugar high…

Oh. My. GOD.

I have _never _been so afraid of my team-mates in all my life. They were just… everywhere, laughing as they went. And I'm not exaggerating, ask Aqualad. Don't bother to ask Speedy, as he was the one who gave them a crate full of pixie sticks before leaving for the night. Oh sure, he thought it was funny at the time, but he wasn't laughing the next day when he found his hair gel had been replaced with superglue. Yes, it was immature of me, and yes, as a leader I should have set a better example, but… he deserved it, dammit.

Now, before you start asking me to say something about the other Titans West, let me just tell you that I have only met them once or twice, and that was only to say goodbye. But then again, it's kind of a testament to how obvious Robin and Starfire are with their relationship that I saw it only after two visits. I mean, come on. The constant glances, the blushing… hell, Sparky even told me they have long talks on the roof as they watch the sunset! I mean, they sound like a couple to me anyway! Is there any question, or is Robin just stupid? I don't care if he was trained by Batman; he could be the last survivor of a doomed alien world for all I care, he's just wasting time because he's scared. Maybe I'll talk to Starfire and tell her about these little calls…

No, that would be too cruel. Besides, Sparky told me that he's trying to play matchmaker with them. Yeah, that's right; the mighty Cyborg is a big ol' romantic softie at heart.

I knew he had it in him.

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(A/N: Yeah, a little short, I know, but… she's hard to write for. Review! Next up is Cyborg, which should be nice and long since I can get in his head easy.)


	5. Cyborg

Disclaimer: Teen Titans (and all DC and WB related stuff) isn't mine. Got it?

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

_**Chapter 4: Cyborg**_

Hey y'all. I'm Cyborg, the strongest member of the Teen Titans.

Huh? Beast Boy said what?

I don't care how strong he says a hippo is! I've got hydraulic arms! Can a hippo bench press a bus? I didn't think so. Besides, how would BB know? He's not exactly pushing the limit when it comes to his IQ. Unless y'all know something I don't. Anyway, I'm Cyborg. I guess you could say I'm the unofficial second in command of the Teen Titans. At least, I _have _been when Robin's disappeared or gone crazy chasing Slade or whatever. But that doesn't happen that much anymore. If I seem a bit distracted, it's not you, I'm just workin' on my baby. That's the T-car, if you didn't know. Man, I love this car. It's not just a car. It's my _baby_.

Oh sure, _some _people (thank you very much BB and Raven) think it's kind of weird to keep pictures of your car in your wallet, but what do _those_ people know? I mean, BB doesn't even realise that the cheese in pizza comes from cows. I'm serious. Just don't tell him, it's one of the only things he'll actually eat with the rest of us. Otherwise he'd try to get us to eat some tofu cheese pizza or some other vegetarian crap. Man, I hate tofu. So what if I've never tried it? It can't be that great if it's BB's favourite food. I'll stick with steak any day; mostly because no one else in the tower eats it that much. Except for Starfire. I don't know where she puts it all, and I don't wanna know. The only reason I can eat so much meat is because I don't have to worry about clogging my arteries (I don't have any). Actually, when I think about the Tamaranian food… even the most disgusting Earth made steak would be better than… that stuff. Is there even such a thing as a Tamaranian steak? I'd ask Starfire, but I'm kind of afraid of what she would end up cooking for me.

You know, it's funny I should be talking about Starfire, because Robin came to talk to me earlier today about her while I was workin' on my baby. Oh sure, he dodged around it a bit, but it was definitely about her. Here's the conversation as recorded by my patented 'Cy-cam' (yes, that's a word):

_Cyborg: (singing) Oh yeah, I love my baby, or yes I do, yeah yeah yeah…_

_Robin: Hey, Cyborg?_

_Cyborg: (shocked) Huh? What? I wasn't singing! YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!_

_Robin: Uh… okay… listen, could I talk to you about something? It's kind of important._

_Cyborg: (laughing nervously) Sorry about that. Yeah, sure man._

_(Robin sits. Silence. Cyborg gets back to work on T-Car. Stops, looks at Robin.)_

_So what's up?_

_Robin: Well… I wanted to ask you about… relationships in the team._

_Cyborg: Oh yeah? Relationships, huh? With a certain red headed alien? Huh? (winks)_

_Robin: No I… (sighs) Forget it. I'll ask someone else._

_Cyborg: Robin, wait. Sorry man. C'mon, sit down, take a load off._

_Robin: Just try to take this seriously, okay?_

_Cyborg: Okay._

_Robin: (sitting) Okay, so… do you think it's a good idea?_

_Cyborg: You and Star? Hell yeah._

_Robin: Who says it's Star?_

_Cyborg: (smirking) You mean it's Raven? _

_Robin: Could be, you don't know._

_Cyborg: Then you won't mind if I tell Star. I'm sure she'll be happy to play matchmaker for you._

_Robin: (glares)_

_Cyborg: (juts bottom lip out in mock pout, mock glares back)_

_Robin: (sighs) All right, you've made your point._

_Cyborg: So…?_

_Robin: So… what?_

_Cyborg: Are you gonna say it?_

_Robin: Say what?_

_Cyborg: You know what I'm talking about._

_Robin: (looks reluctant)_

_Cyborg: (sing songy) It'll make you feel better._

_Robin: (scowls, mumbles) All right, fine. I like her._

_Cyborg: (smirks) You like who?_

_Robin: Starfire, all right? I like Starfire!_

_Cyborg: (smirk growing) Well all right. Doesn't that feel better?_

_Robin: (almost growling) No._

_Cyborg: (shrugs goes back to working on T-car) Anyway, I think it's a good idea. _

_Robin: (sighs) I didn't mean like that. I know it'd be great for me and her, but I'm thinking about the team. I mean, what if I spend more time worrying about her than the rest of you? What if our enemies find out? What if-_

_Cyborg: Whoa, whoa, man. Slow down. One at a time. First of all, you spend just as much time worrying about her now as you would if you were goin' out. Second, she can take care of herself._

_Robin: Bumblebee said the same thing._

_Cyborg: You talked to Bumblebee about this?_

_Robin: Yeah. I'm talking to everyone. (panics) Don't tell Starfire, Cyborg._

_Cyborg: My robotic lips are sealed._

_Robin: Well, good. (gets up) Thanks, Cyborg._

_Cyborg: Anytime, man. Just do me a favour?_

_Robin: What's that?_

_Cyborg: Don't bother with this whole 'getting advice from everyone else' thing. Just do it._

_Robin: (sighs) That'd be nice, but… I need to be sure that what I'm doing is right, you know?_

_Cyborg: All right man. But don't blame me when I say 'I told you so' at your wedding reception._

_Robin: (frowns) That's taking it a bit far, isn't it?_

_Cyborg: (smirks) I don't know. (raises eyebrow) Is it?_

_Robin: (grumbles, leaves)_

And that's the conversation exactly as it happened. And incidentally, I meant everything I said there. I guess it's the big brother part of me coming out. I know I usually tease Robin about the whole thing, but that's just my way of trying to get them together without seeming like a girl. You see, underneath this shell of metal and skin beats the (figurative) heart of a true romantic. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking:

"But if that's true Cyborg, why don't you have a girlfriend?"

And the answer is:

"Don't ask me, ask the girls."

I don't have any idea about women; any guy who says he does is lying. Big time. But that's not to say I don't have romantic prospects in my life. You wanna know who? Tough waffles.

But take a guess, by all means.

I dare you.

Bumblebee? Nice try. I like the gal, but she's a bit… well... uh… judgemental. A bit _too _judgemental, that's what I meant to say. 'Course, that's not to say I haven't thought about it; I have. And yeah, she's pretty good looking and friendly (I meant to say friendly first, I'm not obsessed with looks) but like I said, she's pretty quick to judge if you do something that she thinks is stupid or wrong or annoying or… you get my point. And she's got quite an attitude. Not a good kind of attitude either. The kind of attitude that can just rub you the wrong way after awhile. So, no. Not Bumblebee.

You get one more. Come on, surprise me.

JINX? You think that me and… JINX? Yo! What have you been smoking, man? She's a villain; a member of the HIVE, why would I want to? I mean, sure, she's sexy and beautiful and she's got this cute way of sayin' hi when she likes you and she's a good dancer and she's got this real dangerous quality that's just… uh… but I don't like her like that.

I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's go back to Robin and Starfire. Like I said, I expect to be at their wedding someday. I don't care if you think I'm acting like a girl, this is _my _monologue. Anyway, it never ceases to amaze me how long it took for Robin to actually own up and talk to Starfire about how much he likes her. And he had to be stranded on an alien planet with her before he'd even talk about it! Now if that's not a lack of communication, I don't know what is. I mean, they spend hours alone on the roof watching the sunset; what the hell do they talk about _without _it ending up being a talk about how much they like each other? Sometimes I wish I was like Beast Boy; I bet he _never _worries about this stuff.

You know, the way I talk about him, I probably give the impression I don't like Beast Boy very much. But to be honest, he's probably my best bud, which is kind of weird since we don't really have much in common. But then again, if two of the most different people in the world like Robin and Starfire can be meant for each other then I guess it's not so hard to believe. But BB's pretty cool.

Did I say 'pretty cool'?

I meant to say 'not so bad once you get to know him'.

I mean, he's my best bud _now_, but when I first met him… man, did he piss me off. And everyone else on the team, for that matter. But we all grew to live with it, and ended up liking him. Except for Raven. She's still learning the whole 'liking Beast Boy' thing. And before you ask me what's going on between them, I have no clue, okay? And you know what? They don't go together anyway. They're just wrong, because BB is BB, and Raven is Raven. It's that simple.

Now, Raven… I like that girl. She's a nice break from the others. You know, Star's all over the place most of the time, BB's… well, we've covered BB, and Robin can be just a little too intense. But Raven is pretty calming to be around. That's probably why I found the whole Trigon thing a little bit scarier than I let on. Because if something can make Raven panic like that, then it must be bad. You know, a part of me feels sorry for Raven sometimes, because I see how she looks at Robin, especially after he saved her from hell or wherever she was. The way he was so determined to save her, I gotta admit I wondered about that as well. But then the way Robin and Star said goodbye before Robin went down there with Slade… well, let's just say my doubts went away. There. I told you I was romantic at heart, didn't I? And no, this doesn't mean that I love Raven… it just means that she's my friend and I worry that she's gonna get hurt when Robin and Star do get together.

You see, this is what BB calls my fatherly instinct. Now, I'm not too sure about that. To be honest, I've never thought about it. Having kids I mean. But I gotta admit, I do like it when kids come up to me in the streets and when we go visit orphanages and schools and things like that. And when I think about it, I _do _get a bit too stressed out over what is really my friends business. I mean, that's not my job, that belongs to the little stress ball that is The Boy Wonder Robin.

Robin… I'm gonna be honest with y'all here: he scares me sometimes. I don't mean in a 'ha ha' way; I mean he scares me with what he could do if he wanted. I remember when he thought he was seeing Slade, and he said he'd take down anyone who got in his way… and I believed him. Not only that he meant it, but that he _could_. It's just… when Slade forced him to fight us (not to mention when he was Red X) he picked us apart like we were stood around doing nothing. And you know what's most scary about that? That he was _holding back _at the time. So if he actually tried… Not that he would, mind you. I mean, he felt so guilty and ashamed he didn't talk to us for a month.

And besides, there's always Star to stop him from going too far. That girl is… something else. It's not hard to see why Robin fell for her. But before you start to think anything stupid, I never saw her that way. Ever. I'm completely serious, y'all. She's really special, but she's just not my type. 'Course, I don't think I've been out with enough women to say I actually _have _a type, but still… I just never saw her that way; maybe it's because I saw the whole Robin and Starfire thing from the beginning, I dunno. Don't ask me how I saw it, I just did. It's one of those things that's just obvious, like Aqualad and Speedy.

I'm just kidding.

But you've gotta wonder about those two… I mean, I've never seen either of them with a girl, or show any interest towards a girl, ever. Aqualad had Raven and Starfire all over him, and he acted like nothing was happening, and Speedy… well, let's just say his obsession with his own hair is disturbing, and leave it at that.

That is _not _jealousy! I could grow hair anytime I wanted to; it would just look stupid is all. Come on, can any of y'all picture me with hair? Do you know how stupid I'd look? I'm supposed to strike fear into criminals, not have them laughin' at the fuzz on my head.

Well, I'm about done, so… what? You want me to say what? Aw, c'mon man…

Ah, all right.

BOOYA!

See y'all.

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(A/N: Booya? Or No-ya? Review!)


	6. Mas Y Menos

Disclaimer: Teen Titans (and all DC and WB related stuff) isn't mine. Got it?

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

**_Chapter 5: Mas y Menos_**

Hello! I am Mas!

And I am Menos!

We are members of Titan group East! We speak English not at all, so use we Cyborg translator machine! He says good work it not so well, so English forgive, yes? People wonder why we speak no English, understand but it. We are proud of language – it ours, so we speak time all of the! Okay? We know what think you – why speak with same time, not at different times? Because similar are we. So… we speak together. We opinions have pretty much the same so anyway… Okay?

Cyborg machine not good work too well, eh? We think he cool is, but bad is this just machine. Us makes it sound stupid.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! What see we mean?

Cyborg, but is cool, have we to admit. Recruited he us, so wouldn't be here now wouldn't we if not him for. He is cool 'BOOYA'! very with the waffles and the way he says. Team we like time of the most, annoying but they be can, especially Speedybee and Bumble. Like we Aqualad, can be he cool well as – really he listens to us tries to, or at least. We talk about here not to, though. Got call we from Robin did today earlier, strange which was not usually bother with us because. We like him much very don't, since he Starfire and we think go BOOM BOOM, but think he good not enough her for. Beautiful girl, Si?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Spanish through coming! No comprende why machine no work properly! Machine stupid!

Máquina estúpida! ¡Prefiero español de todos modos! ¡Yo también, odio las máquinas como esto!

Ooo, duendecillo se pega...

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(A/N: Apologies for the shortness, but… it's Mas and Menos, and there's nothing much you can do with them… no offence to Mas and Menos fans (if they even exist) but… that's the way it is. And call me lazy, but writing deliberately bad hurts my brain.)

Next: Raven shares her thoughts… and you know you want to see that.


	7. Raven

Disclaimer: Teen Titans (and all DC and WB related stuff) isn't mine. Got it?

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

_**Chapter 6: Raven**_

Hey. I'm Raven. I'm a member of the Teen Titans. Or the dark member if you like. Or the Goth, people aren't too fussy. Not that I care one way or the other. I'm not as upset by what anonymous people think of me as some people are.

You know I'm talking about Beast Boy.

I'm not saying that it's not important to appear friendly and helpful to the public, but to let it bother you that they're constantly poking into your private life would be pointless. But then again, most of the things that Beast Boy does are pointless.

And before you say anything, it's not some subconscious attraction to Beast Boy that's made me mention him twice in the first few seconds.

Ugh… Nowthere's a rumour I could do without.

I don't really see where that whole theory came from, but if you could see how we interact in our day to day life… well, let's just say you wouldn't think so anymore. And, even though it doesn't bother me, it can be… distracting when the public pokes into your love life (or lack of). That's the main reason why I don't particularly enjoy going to the mall with Starfire. Even though I enjoy her company, I don't enjoy the company of drooling fans who think that they are that 'special someone' who will win my heart. Or Starfire's, which is a lot more likely.

Beast Boy and Cyborg always tease and say that I'm a little bit jealous of Starfire, but I don't understand where that came from, either. That's as ridiculous as me and Beast Boy being a couple.

I think I need to wash my mouth out. That left a bitter taste.

But I can't think of any reason why I'd be jealous of her, except for Robin.

What?

I'm not stupid enough to not know when I've got a crush on someone. But that's not to say I haven't been troubled by thoughts of him; actually it's pretty much the exact opposite. I even went into my meditation mirror to talk to my emotions, to find out what I should do. Logic told me that the feelings towards Robin were a natural psychological reaction to his having come to rescue me and helping me during the Trigon debacle. Love told me… something different.

I know it's a crush. It _has _to be. If it was anything else, it would cause a rift inside the team so big I don't think it would survive. Starfire would most likely leave, and then so would Robin, followed quickly by Cyborg and Beast Boy going their separate ways. And I wouldn't want that; to end up like I was in the future that Starfire saw. And besides, that would all depend on Robin feeling the same way towards me, which he most definitely does _not_. Reality check to those who see something between me and him: Robin _loves _Starfire. He probably doesn't know what it is; most teenagers don't. The only reason I do is because of my extensive training in suppressing my own emotions and sensing the emotions of others. It's almost like radiation when they're together.

Cyborg sees me looking at them together, and I can feel the pity from him. He thinks I'm sad because Robin and Starfire are close; the real reason is because I'm concerned (and a little bit annoyed) at the distracting amount of emotion they're giving off. When emotions build up they have a habit of… building pressure, until they eventually explode. Trust me; I know these things. The amount that they're radiating… they're going to be exploding any day now.

Big time.

And that brings me on to _why_ I'm talking to you in the first place (although the _how_ is still bothering me); Robin came to talk to me about relationships within the team. I sometimes wonder if he knows how obvious he is; for someone who was trained by Batman he's particularly horrendous at hiding his feelings. But I decided a long time ago that you don't tell Robin about his faults, since he takes it very personal from friends. God forbid that Starfire ever criticises him. I won't go into specifics about the conversation, because apparently he's been having similar conversations with the others, and from what I hear, our conversation was pretty much the same as everyone else's. The end result was me telling him to go and tell her. I didn't tell him why (he's frightened enough; he doesn't need the threat of an explosion of emotion hovering over his head), but I think he got the message.

After he left, I tried to continue with my book, but my mind continued to linger on what Robin said; relationships within the team. Since he was on my mind anyway, my thoughts lingered on Robin. And about Robin; I _know_ what I have is a crush, and do you know why? Because I didn't feel this way until the incident with my fa… Trigon.

That's right. Before that, I had no romantic feelings towards Robin whatsoever. I could see he was physically attractive, but… we're too similar for it to ever work in anything but friendship. The reason that he and Starfire go so well together is that they compliment each other perfectly; they are opposites in the best way. As it stands now, Robin knows me better than anyone on the team, and vice versa – yet another reason we don't go together as anything other than friends. He's one of my closest friends (almost akin to a brother), and I have nothing but the greatest respect for him; it was refreshing when I first met him to see someone else who controlled their emotions rather than letting them run wild. As time went on, I obviously found he didn't have the control he thought he did, as you can see from his obsession with Slade and, I suppose… Starfire, too.

My relationship with Starfire is an enigma. By all rights, I should hate her; she is everything I detest in a person. Constantly happy, loud, having little to no control over her emotions, and yet… I think of her as the sister I never had.

Freaky? You have no idea.

And, although I'd _never _admit to anyone, I've slowly begun to enjoy doing the…

Ugh…

Girly… things…

But that doesn't mean that I like doing all of them though; I still refuse to allow her anywhere near my hair. Especially after she discovered the… how did she put it?

"_The joy of earthly hair ornaments."_

I do _not _need Beast Boy and Cyborg seeing me like that. Even Robin would laugh, which is the strangest noise in the world, if you ever come across it. That's another thing that Starfire can do; she can make me laugh. Not gut busting, but she can make me chuckle. To be honest, that's the strangest thing of all; I usually only get amusement from quiet humour; witty comments, sarcastic retorts, that kind of thing. So when I find myself smiling in genuine amusement at Starfire's _Splirognatork _impression, I surprise myself. While we're on the topic of laughing, let's move on to Beast Boy, someone who I never laugh _with_, only _at_.

Although, I think that's the case with most of the others too, except Starfire; though it seems she's wising up to the fact that Beast Boy's jokes… well…

They're absolutely, indescribably, unbelievably bad.

That's what I tell him, anyway. Of course, he doesn't listen, but I say it anyway, in the hopes that he will give up his quest to make me laugh at one of his jokes. What he doesn't understand (I don't tell him this) is that when he's not _trying _to be funny, he usually is. I'm usually reading a book when he does amuse me, so I've managed to cover it up; if he ever saw me laughing at one of his jokes, I'd never live it down. That's probably why I don't tell him to stop trying to make me laugh; because then I'll have to explain why, which would result in my admitting that Beast Boy was funny.

Don't give me that look. That's the only reason I don't tell him to stop trying to make me laugh. At least, it's the only one I can think of. You're worse than Cyborg in seeing things that aren't there. And that's exactly what the romance is between me and Beast Boy; _nonexistent_.

So, repeat after me:

Raven…

And Beast Boy…

Do _NOT _go together.

That doesn't mean I don't like him though. He's one of the truest and most loyal friends I've ever had. True, I haven't had that many friends, and it _did _take me a long time to warm to him, but in the end… he's one of the best. I wouldn't go so far as to say he's my _best _friend, but… all I remember is how much he helped me after what happened with Malchior. And for that, he's pretty much earned the place of _'Little Brother' _in my mind. Not that I'd ever tell him this, of course. He's annoying enough as it is.

Speaking of annoying, I'd like to move onto Cyborg. Actually, 'annoying' isn't the right word. 'Frustrating' is more like it. He can be so mature and level headed to the point where I've even admired him; then he goes and plays _Stankball_ with Beast Boy, and when he does, well…

Maturity and Cyborg proceed to dine at different tables. They get together occasionally, but most of the time… they're pretty separate. Most of his immaturity is aimed at Beast Boy though, so I can't say it annoys me too much. Well, not enough for me to get involved.

Yet.

When he's separate from Beast Boy, he's actually okay to be around. His waffles are incredible. Yes, I just got enthusiastic about something – it happens a lot since Trigon was defeated. It doesn't happen too much though, and I'm grateful for that. It just seems like some subconscious barrier around my emotions has been lifted slightly following Trigon's defeat.

Going back to Cyborg, I know that a lot of people find it strange that I, of all people, was the one to comfort him when the T-car was stolen. To be honest, so was I. I thought it would be Beast Boy. In fact, I was sure it would be. But no, I ended up letting him bear his soul to me, and even ended up helping him put together the new one. And I did something I haven't done for anyone else in the Titans; I grinned at him. Not a smirk, an amused half smile, but a full grin. I couldn't control it; it just exploded on to my face. But it felt right. And I felt a certain amount of pride (and still do) that I helped build the T-car. I still occasionally help Cyborg work on it.

Emphasis on 'occasionally'.

His attachment to that thing is steadily getting past the point of 'concerning' and wading dangerously into the area of 'disturbing', so I let him work on it alone.

After the Titans I work with, I thought about the Titans East. Well, the only member I've exchanged more than three sentences with; Aqualad. Now he's annoying. Not in a Beast Boy way, but more because of the effect he had on me when I first met him. There he was, towering over me, looking at me with those eyes while he smiled… and my brain promptly melted. Only for a few seconds, but it still happened. And that ticked me off. Raven of Azarath, trained to have the utmost control of my emotions, and there I was with a goofy smile and a blush heating my face to the point where I thought my sweat would start sizzling.

Not a pleasant experience. It got better over time, but I'm still very… discomforted by the memory. That's why I'm glad he didn't take Robin up on his offer to join _our _team. I don't think I could've taken that. Yet another example of how oblivious Robin is to the obvious: Starfire couldn't take her eyes off of Aqualad, and yet Robin _still _invited him to join the team. If I hadn't been so… distracted, I probably would have said something.

There's the alarm. I can hear Beast Boy complaining about the sound the alarm makes from here.

And… now he's wondering if Robin could change the sound of the alarm into something less, in Beast Boy's words, _"Crap scary?"_

I have to go out there and say something. I can only ignore Beast Boy's stupidity so much. Sure, he's my quote unquote _'Little Brother'_ but… he's just a little _too _little sometimes.

Hmm… 'A little too little'? Sounds like something Beast Boy would laugh at.

I really need to get out more.

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(A/N: I was feeling kinda bad for how short the Mas and Menos chapter was, so… here's true blue Zinthos from the makers of Azarath and Metrion.

Do you approve of true blue Zinthos? Whatever your opinion, call the Review hotline now. We love your feedback.)

Next: The only full time Titan who _isn't _on Robin's list…


	8. Robin

Disclaimer: Teen Titans and all DC stuff isn't mine

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

_**Chapter 7: Robin**_

Hi, I'm Robin. I'm the leader of the Teen Titans. Or Batman's partner, the Boy Wonder, if you prefer. I still don't know where that name came from. It was probably Alfred. He has a sadistic sense of humour sometimes. He and Cyborg would probably get on great, always cooking up ways to humiliate me. Although it would be interesting to see Bruce's reaction if Cyborg pulled a prank on him.

You'd think it would be a hard job leading a team of four teenagers. And you'd be right. It _is_ hard. But I have no complaints. In fact, I have to keep stopping to remind myself how lucky I am. I'm at the very peak of human physical condition, I see and go places that most people only dream of, and I'm the partner of one of the greatest heroes that has ever lived; or ever _will _live, and I lead a team of teenage heroes, each of whom will probably go in the same history book as Bruce. And, of course, I'm luckiest of all because I… you know.

Anyway, you've been watching my plan in action, and you've probably guessed what it is by now. But if you haven't, here it is: I'm going to ask each of the Titans what they think of romantic relationships within the team, and then act on the majority reaction. It's not exactly a great strategy, but it's the best I could come up with. Logic doesn't really apply to this kind of problem, so I need to keep the solution as simple as possible.

A part of me was kind of hoping that everyone would disapprove of relationships so I wouldn't have to go through with it. To actually go up to her and just… it seems impossible just thinking about it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're as blind as I've been since I first met Starfire. Or you're Beast Boy. Either way, I'm going to be explaining this to you.

Starfire… I wish I knew what to do about her. Correction: I know what to do, but I wish I wasn't so cowardly about it. I have to admit, I almost fooled myself into thinking it was just a fleeting attraction to the superficial things about her. But as time went on, the feelings didn't stop; they grew into an attraction to _everything _about her. But I still held off, mostly because I wasn't sure what _she _wanted to do. That is, I didn't know until we were stranded on that alien planet. That's when I found out that she actually thought she _was _my girlfriend! Now that just… well, it scared the crap out of me; now I had no excuse for _not _following up on my feelings for her.

I was a bit angry with myself, too. There I was, the protégé of the World's Greatest Detective, and I hadn't noticed for the longest time that Starfire liked me that way. I was trained to analyze the behaviour of the most hardened and emotionally closed off criminals, and one of the most emotional people I've met passes me by? Well, that just made me angry.

We're not talking 'punching the wall in anger' angry, this was more 'glaring at Beast Boy and Cyborg' angry. Although I have done the first one before. Just once. It was after Slade's mask made me hallucinate that I was fighting Slade. I left to go to bed after Cyborg removed the reagent from my bloodstream, and while I lay in bed I remembered everything that had happened that day.

Then I remembered grabbing Starfire. I can safely say I have _never _felt as angry as I was when I remembered that. Not even when Slade forced me to be his apprentice. On a scale of one to ten, I was about seven when I was his apprentice. On that night, I was pushing twenty. There's still a dent in the wall that I've hidden with a poster. I went straight to Starfire and apologised, and she said that it wasn't my fault, but that didn't really help when I could see the bruises on her arm where I had grabbed her.

I remembered the look on her face, and the tears in her eyes, and… I wanted to cry (I didn't though). That doesn't happen very often (wanting to cry, not actually crying), but it's almost always linked with Starfire when I do. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Of course, that pretty much accounts for my feelings for Starfire in general.

Oh, I'm sure that my feelings for Starfire are good, nothing but… too many good things, really. I'm not even sure what to call the feeling that I get when I look into her eyes, or when she hugs me, or even when we're just talking. What do you call that feeling?

Love? I don't know… it's pretty strong, whatever it is, but love? I'm not too sure. I mean… I don't have anything to compare it to, for a start. The only love I've felt is for my parents, and if I felt that kind of love towards Starfire I wouldn't be as troubled as I am right now. They're like two different kinds of love. But then again, that all depends on whether it _is _love I feel for Starfire, or if it's something else. I don't know; I just don't know.

I wish it was as straightforward with Starfire as it was with the other members of the team. With them, I can tell you exactly how I feel about them and where they fit in my life. Take Raven for instance. A lot of people think that my obsession with helping her through the whole Trigon thing means that I'm in love with her. I'll be honest with you; when I first heard about that, I laughed. I wasn't rolling on the floor crying, but it was a good honest laugh. And you know why?

Because it's ridiculous. Completely, totally, and absolutely ridiculous. Not convinced? Okay, let me put it this way: would you date your sister?

I'm going to assume you said no, because any other answer would just disturb me. Okay, so you wouldn't date your sister. But would you do anything you could to help her if she was in trouble?

Right; you'd do everything in your power to help her. I rest my case. I hope Starfire doesn't think… no, she wouldn't, would she? Not after what happened on that alien planet… never mind, back to Raven.

I have to admit that she's a very calming influence in my life, and I meant every word I said to her about her being the most hopeful person I'd ever met. Come to think of it, I never say anything if I don't mean it. Except (big surprise) when it comes to Starfire.

As for her place in the team… she keeps us grounded. As corny and cheesy as it sounds, she keeps our eyes on the bigger picture; stops us from getting too caught up in our emotions. Although that rarely helps with Beast Boy.

When I think of Raven, Beast Boy almost always comes hand in hand, mostly because I see them still together in about seventy years. I don't mean romantically (though it wouldn't surprise me), but I can still see a white haired Raven shouting at one of Beast Boy's pranks while he just rolls on the floor and laughs.

I never want Beast Boy to grow up. I may act like he annoys me sometimes, but… actually it's not an act most of the time. He does annoy me; just not as much as he obviously does Raven. But most of the time I truly do appreciate what he does for the team. This isn't just the leader part of me talking (though that's a big part of it), I'm just truly glad that he never takes anything too seriously, no matter how bad the situation looks.

That's something I can't say I'm particularly good at, though Bruce has commented on how much more light hearted I am since I joined up with the others; though I haven't noticed myself. It's probably just subconscious; I can't think of anything worse than becoming like Beast Boy. I like what he does for the team, but I would _not _like to be him.

Then we move on to Cyborg. My feelings for him are equal parts irritation and admiration; he can annoy me so much that I just want to hit him. Well, you know, don't you? You've seen how he can get under my skin; although it's usually to do with Starfire. Actually, it's _always _to do with Starfire. I wonder why he's so snarky about it. Does he like Starfire? No, that couldn't be it.

Gah.

Welcome to another irritating habit of mine: paranoia. You've seen him before, I'm sure. It's what drove me right into Slade's waiting hands when we first met him, and what drove Starfire and the others away. At least, it drove them away to begin with. I've tried to make a conscious effort to become more involved with the rest of the team, though I still can't stand tofu or Cyborg's strange obsession with the T-car. I don't really care that much for meditating with Raven, actually.

And would you look at that? I'm left with one person: Starfire. If you could hear me right now, you'd hear a growl. I've found myself doing that a lot recently. Not around the others, of course. And certainly not around Starfire; around her it would take on a completely different meaning.

Anyway, back to Cyborg. Sorry, I don't usually veer off topic like that… But I'm veering off again, aren't I? Back onto Cyborg. Like I said before, he irritates me, but I have nothing but the greatest admiration for Cyborg; for how he overcame the obstacles in his life with a easy smile and a calm attitude; how he's constantly improving himself (physically and mentally).

But most of all, I admire how he doesn't elect a position for himself, he just fills it. I admire that without any kind of argument from the others, Cyborg became leader in my absence. I admire that he has become the big brother of the group without even trying; he just is. I didn't truly appreciate that until I talked to him earlier today.

And that leaves, guess who? Starfire. I _always _leave her for last in these kinds of things, as you can see from my list of names. I even put her last on the training schedule; when we do one-on-one training programs, that is. Most of the time we do whole team exercises, but about once a month I schedule one-on-one training, so we can adapt in case we're left without our powers or weapons for whatever reason.

And I always leave Starfire for last. I think it's probably because it means I can spend as much time with her as I want without having to worry about the next 'trainee'. Of course, they always end badly for me. I find it difficult fighting someone with five times my strength as it is, but when that person is Starfire and they're so close to me that I can feel their breath on my face… well, it gets awkward.

And I get distracted.

And Starfire breaks some bones.

Then Robin goes 'ouch'.

Yet another reason I thank God that Raven's on the team; her healing powers. If not for them, I'd probably just have to hand over the leadership reigns to Cyborg and sit in a wheelchair back at the tower.

You know, I remember being sat in the common room area just watching the rest of the team enjoying themselves in whatever they were doing, when I started to wonder what we'd all be doing in ten years time. Or twenty. And I didn't see myself in the Tower anymore. Which scared me. To think that somewhere in my mind I didn't think I'll be staying with my friends anymore. I wondered what could possibly prompt me to leave the best friends that I'd ever known.

But that isn't what horrified me the most. The real clincher was the fact that I saw Starfire still in the tower with the rest of the team. And the thought of my life without her in it scared me. But another thought hit me. What if she found someone else after I left? That didn't scare me; that just made me angry. To think that some other guy would be with her, talking to her, having…

ANYWAY…moving on.

And that's when I pretty much realised that what I felt for her was something more. Something… big. That's the only word I can think of to explain it. Just… big.

Well, that's it. I've only got two more people on my list, Speedy and Starfire. And no matter whether they approve or not, the majority seems to be in favour of me and Starfire. That kind of annoyed me, too. I like to think I keep my feelings pretty well covered, but apparently not, since everyone from Aqualad to Raven seems to know about it.

Besides, it's not like I don't agree with the majority or anything; I mean, would I be talking about her this much if I hated her? It's just…

Ah, hell, it's not _just_ anything. I've got no idea what I'm talking about. Talk to me about Slade or the Joker or something, fine. I could go on for hours with pictures and statistics and charts and… well, a lot of stuff. Talk to me about Starfire, I'll start blushing like a madman and stuttering so much you'd want to hit me.

That's another thing I never did before I met Starfire. Well, two things; blushing and stuttering. Just two more for the list of things she does to me I suppose; and she doesn't even have to be there to do anything. Just the thought of her or the sound of her name… I suppose that's what scares me most. I know that she likes me, but does she like me anywhere near as much as I like her? I mean, I'd definitely have seen something by now, considering how emotionally open she is…

Damn, this is annoying.

But you know what's most annoying? She'd probably say yes.

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(A/N: So – are you feeling the Robin hate? Or the Robin love? Review!)

Next: Speedy! Same Robin-place, same Robin-channel, same Robin-time!


	9. Speedy

Disclaimer: Don't own Teen Titans. Or any other DC stuff, for that matter.

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Teen Titan Kind**_

_**Chapter 8: Speedy**_

Yo, I'm Speedy, and I'm a member of the Titans East. I'm Ollie Queen's partner too (who you probably know as Green Arrow), but that isn't as much fun, mostly because he's better than me at everything that makes me the best in the Titans East. And I _am _the best. Okay, the others have good powers and all, but they all have parts of their personalities that get in the way. Like those two little Spanish piñatas, Mas and Menos. They're _way _too young and get distracted way too easily. But I'll talk about that later.

A lot of people mistake me for smug, but it's really just confidence in what I can do. Robin's exactly the same, but do the Titans bust him about it? No. I honestly don't know what the difference is between my attitude and his.

Obsessed? They said that about my hair? Obsessed! They don't know the meaning of the word. Robin's the obsessive one. So what if I want to make sure I look good? Where's the harm? They have to wait in the hallway for another few minutes. Boo hoo. Seriously, Ollie never complained as much as these guys do. Actually, Ollie grumbles and moans much more than the Titans East do, so just forget I said that part. You know, I'm not even sure these guys know that I'm the Green Arrow's partner. Do the Titans in the west know that Robin is Batman's partner? I'll have to ask them about it sometime. I'm not about to tell them either way.

Anyway, I'm talking to you because Robin came to me today to ask me about… what was it? Oh yeah.

'Relationships within the team'.

Now, I knew who he was talking about as soon as he said that. Starfire, the hot alien from another planet. I've never met her without being under the influence of mind control, but if I did, I doubt she'd like Robin half as much. Again, that's not just me being smug – it's just that a lot of women like me. Anyway, getting back on track… I don't particularly want to recount the entire conversation, but I told him to just go for it and hang the consequences. I can pretty much guarantee that if you take a risk, no matter what happens, you'll always feel better for taking it. That's pretty much my philosophy; try anything, no matter the risk. Usually, the bigger the risk, the bigger the buzz when you've taken it; the outcome doesn't really enter into it. Usually.

Robin seemed pretty horrified by my approach, which is funny when you think of all the stuff that hardened Gotham criminals do. He can look that stuff in the eye and not even blink; but put one red head from another planet in front of him, and poof – Robin the crime fighter is dead. Long live Robin the blubbering idiot. I've gotta say, I never got nervous around women, so I find it hard to sympathise with him. I'm really having trouble seeing what the problem is. But then again, I've never been described as the most sensitive person in the world.

Well, once he'd hung up, I ended up thinking about the other Titans, and what I thought of them. Looking back, it seems a very stupid thing to just sit back and think about, but there I was, staring up at the ceiling, thinking of the first Teen Titans I met: Beast Boy, Robin and Cyborg. Now, I'd seen the Titans on TV, and I was more than a little disappointed that the women weren't with them, but then again, I wouldn't have wanted to fight them anyway.

And no, that isn't chauvinistic crap, it's more the fact that Starfire as super strength and Raven… well, I've seen what she can do, and I don't want to get in the way of that, thank you very much. Anyway, back to the three Titans I met. First of all, Beast Boy. I've gotta say, I didn't feel much respect for the guy, mostly because I know his type. Always making jokes, never taking life seriously enough to reach their full potential. All I know is, if I had his powers, I would be a much better Beast Boy than he ever was.

Robin and Cyborg were a different story. First of all, Robin. It was good to meet someone who I could talk to about all my weapons – whenever I talk to Ollie about them, he rests his head on his shoulder and makes a mock snoring noise.

And no, I don't think that's funny.

Anyway, Robin's a cool guy – a lot of people say we're really alike, but I don't see it. Aside from the costume, I mean. Really, that was just a bad coincidence. And neither of us is sure who made their costume first, so we really can't accuse one of stealing the other's costume design. But he did steal mine. I know he did.

Speaking of Robin, a lot of people wonder why there are pictures of Robin on magazine covers and none of me (Bumblebee, our esteemed leader takes pleasure in reminding me at every opportunity). The reason is that I'm not a poser. I don't stick around long enough for all those paparazzi's to take my picture.

Moving on to Cyborg. I know him a bit better than the other Titans West because he helped make the Titans East, and he was even leader for a while too. I meant what I said about how we needed him with us. We were a mess before he showed up; of course, I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but we were. He really turned us around, and I thought it was really cool how he did it calmly. Me, I would have just yelled at everyone until they listened to me. I tried that approach a lot before Cyborg arrived. It didn't work, but at least I tried to get everyone to work together.

Then I went on to Raven and Starfire. I'll just take a moment to ask a question: are there any ugly teenage superheroines? Anywhere? Because I haven't seen any, especially in the case of these two. Like I said, I don't know either of them that well, just what I've been told and what I can see. And what I can see… well, let me put it this way: I drew the short straw by being on the Titans East instead of the Titans West. If I was over there, I would probably be enjoying myself a lot more. Not that Bumblebee isn't attractive, but I find it really hard to like her in that way, mostly because she's our leader and all that. But I like Robin, so I wouldn't even think about going after Starfire. That's right, the self obsessed Speedy as morals. Gasp.

Now, on to the Titans East. I mentioned Bumblebee earlier, so I suppose I should start with her. She's a pretty good leader, but I did have my doubts to begin with. I didn't really think she was the leader type. But then again, I'm not exactly the leader type. I'm not exactly the team player type either, but here I am. She's constantly ribbing me about how I never seem to bring any girls back with me after my nights on the town, but why would I want to bring a girl back to tower anyway? So they can meet Mas and Menos? Or maybe Aqualad? All I'm saying is that there wouldn't be much point.

You know, come to think of it, Aqualad and Bumblebee give me these strange looks a lot when I come back from my nights on the town without a girl. Makes me wonder what they're thinking… they say anything to you?

GAY! They think… GAY! I'm not gay! How could they think I'm gay? I'm not… Oh, they will pay for this. They thought it was bad when I gave Mas and Menos a crateful of pixie sticks… just you wait.

I was going to say that Aqualad is an okay guy and a pretty capable fighter, but now I'm just going to say anything I could have said is pointless since you won't be hearing from him for a long time once I'm through with him.

Jesus… gay…

Anyway, Mas and Menos are okay. Not good, not great, but okay. They make suitable weapons to use against the other Titans when they get on my bad side, so you can pretty much be rest assured that they'll be part of whatever I do to Bumblebee and Aqualad.

I'd talk some more, but that's just ruined my day, and I've got things to plan.

I hope to God that Ollie doesn't find out about this.

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(A/N: A bit short once again, I know, but the Titans East have only had a handful of episodes to let me get into their heads, so… there you go. Review if you like! Review if you hate!)

Next: It's the chapter that you've been waiting for - The Princess of Tamaran, Starfire…


	10. Starfire

Disclaimer: I don't own DC or Teen Titans. _Kmarganarff _and all _kmarganarff _related rituals are mine, though.

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

_**Chapter 9: Starfire**_

Greetings! I am the Teen Titan known as Starfire. It is the literal translation of my Tamaranian name, which is Koriand'r, although my other friends do not know this; not even Raven, with whom I have shared most of the details about my life. I am also the Princess of Tamaran, but that title holds no importance to me.

After coming to Earth, I have come to realise how foolish it is that bloodlines determine who is Grand Ruler on Tamaran, rather than who is best suited for such a position. I wonder if Galfore will continue the tradition and give the throne to his children… In any case, it is most fortunate that I am not the Grand Ruler, for I am not what Robin would call 'leader material'.

Do not misunderstand, Robin has never told me that I am not 'leader material', but he has talked of 'leader material' when referencing Cyborg or his tutor, 'Bat Man', and from the way he talks about them, I know that I am not 'leader material'. I would like to meet this 'Bat Man' one day – it would be most interesting to see where the Robin that I know came from, just as I am sure it was interesting for Robin to meet Galfore and see the similarities between us.

Although, for much of that time Robin seemed most angry and sad, so I am not sure he was paying attention. I understood his feelings on that day, because I felt them when he was forced to take the most evil and horrible Kitten on a 'date'. I recall that I was most puzzled after the conclusion of that mission.

You see, on Tamaran, prospective mates are open about their feelings for each other as early as possible, which often leads to conflict. I had assumed that our feelings for one another were made clear that night, especially after the most magical dance we shared. I confess that I was not skilled in the dancing, but it was a most wonderful experience. I had assumed that we had just gone on a 'date', and that we were now the boyfriend and the girlfriend. But then, the next day, Robin seemed almost exactly the same as before. It was most puzzling.

However, the _most _puzzling thing was the fact that Robin is a great warrior. For on Tamaran, warriors are even more open about their intentions towards mates than normal Tamaranians. That does not seem to be the case on Earth. From watching the TV, I have come to the conclusion that Earth females prefer males who are at the same time modest but confident, and quiet yet not shy.

It is most confusing.

As is Robin.

And I believe that Robin is the reason that I am talking to you now. You see, earlier today I was engaging in the 'post _Kmarganarff _bathing experience', wherein a Tamaranian hangs upside down in midair and bathes in the freedom of the experience. It is a most vital part, because if the ritual is not completed, the _Kmarganarff _becomes highly lethal and burns away the face of any taking part in the ritual. Robin commented about the danger of such a ritual, but I find Earth beauty products to be so… weak in comparison to Tamaranian ones.

And so, that is how Robin found me; floating upside down in my room, my back to the wall, the _Kmarganarff _still covering my face. I was most embarrassed that Robin was seeing me in such a condition, but I did not dare move for fear of interrupting the ritual. However, we are free to speak in the ritual as long as we remain upside down and do not open our eyes.

Robin wished to speak to me about something 'important'. I felt uncomfortable with Robin talking to me while I was upside down, and so he decided to stand upside down himself, putting his legs against the wall I had my back to and balancing on his hands.

That is the part of Robin that you do not see very often; the kindness. For example, whenever I or the others are feeling bad about something, Robin will secretly leave a present in our room to raise our spirits. He will deny any knowledge it, but it is most obvious that it was he who put it there. In truth, it was most likely this kindness that attracted me to him when we first met.

That is not to say that my other friends are unkind; it is very much the opposite. However, they have all, at one time or another, become impatient with my lack of knowledge about Earth culture. They are not obvious, but I can tell. Friend Cyborg frowns and blows air from his nose; friend Beast Boy rapidly scratches his neck; and friend Raven rolls her eyes. Robin, however, has never shown anything but kindness and understanding towards me, even though I had done nothing to earn it.

Robin asked me about 'relationships in the team', and my heart 'skipped a beat'. Is that the correct term? I am unsure, but it sounds very much correct. I attempted to control my reaction, but I have never been good at hiding my emotions. I have never needed to, in all truthfulness.

I have only lied once in my life, and that was for Silkie, so I believe it was justified. In any case, I was unsure of what to say, and there was a long and awkward silence. There are many of those when Robin wishes to talk to me of something 'important'.

He inquired if I approved of relationships within the team. If I approved of… romantic relationships. I did not know what to say, but there was one thing I did know; that he was talking about us. Do not tell me how I knew, but I was sure. And so, I merely told him that whatever decision he made, I would understand.

He was not expecting this, because he fell from his upside down position and crashed to the floor. I wished that I could have helped him up, but I could not even see where he was. Robin then said goodbye, and I was left alone once again, although I was not as peaceful and calm as I was before.

At that moment, I wished that I could have spoken to friend Raven. We have frequent, I believe the phrase is 'girl talks', although friend Raven is not very… what is the word friend Beast Boy uses… 'chatty'. However, she talks much more than she did when we first met, so I am happy for that. It is most unusual that I find her so easy to share my difficulties with, particularly because she is everything that Tamaranians are not, in that she is very quiet and controlled but also possesses great strength.

On Tamaran, quietness is related with weakness, and loudness to strength. This is why I knew that friend Cyborg and friend Beast Boy were strong when I first met them. However, I have come to learn from my time on Earth that loud does not necessarily mean strong, and quiet does not necessarily mean weak. Our enemy Slade is very quiet, and yet he is one of the most deadly, and indeed, frightening people I have ever met.

Robin is also very quiet. I must confess that I was most surprised by his skill as a warrior when I first saw him in battle.

Oh! I am doing the changing of the subject to Robin! I apologise. I will attempt to remain on the topic. Friend Raven can frequently be very unkind in how she speaks to her friends, although I have come to learn that she does not mean what she says on these occasions. I remember that I would be most hurt when she would refuse to do the hanging out with me.

On Earth, one who responds in such an emotional way would be considered weak, yes? But I do not care. My friends, to me, are the most important part of my life. Without friends, I would most likely be like my sister Blackfire.

I am very grateful that friend Cyborg and friend Beast Boy are very open about how they feel, although even I find their arguments about the breaking of the fast tiresome at times. However, if they did not argue every morning, it would not be the same; something would be missing. Beast Boy and Cyborg are most entertaining, although Cyborg is not as… obvious as Beast Boy is.

Beast Boy enjoys being the center of the attention, and I am most willing to let him simply enjoy it… most of the time. As time has gone on, however, I have begun to understand why friend Raven is so frequently angry with Beast Boy. Although as I have said, one cannot take Raven too seriously – and Beast Boy never does.

With friend Cyborg, I find that I can always depend on him to improve my mood, no matter what the cause. I recall how I felt after Robin's activities as Red X were revealed to us, and how Cyborg cooked a most glorious meal for us to make us feel better. And although Robin had elected not to join us, I still enjoyed it, because I realised that everything would be all right.

I still do not understand what drove Robin to become the Red X. Although I do not understand his obsession with Slade either. I simply endure both and help him as much as I can.

Those are the times I feel this terrible pain inside. When Robin has become so consumed by something that he becomes… something dark, and most definitely something that is not the Robin I care for. I am sure it is most difficult for my other friends to understand why, but it is again because of my Tamaranian heritage that I act this way.

When a Tamaranian is happy, they are ecstatic, and when they are angry… well, many villains have been on the receiving end of my anger, and they will tell you just how deadly an angry Tamaranian can be. And so, when a Tamaranian is unhappy and worried...

Oh, I apologise! I do not mean to make you unhappy as well, but Robin…

I am talking about Robin once again! I am sorry. In all truthfulness, I often find it frustrating that my thoughts linger on him at the most inconvenient moments. Such as our hand to hand training sessions, which are most wonderful. I enjoy that we are always last on the list, as it allows us to spend time together without Robin feeling embarrassed. It confuses me how Robin can become embarrassed by his feelings. It is not as if I could be displeased by them.

Unfortunately, I usually end up injuring Robin during our training sessions. I must confess, I do become most distracted during these sessions because of how close I am to Robin as we fight. I often have to stop myself from giggling because of the nervousness I feel, although I am not always successful. I am doubly embarrassed by this, because I doubt that Robin becomes distracted during these sessions, because he is most serious and professional about the training.

In all honesty, I do not know the extent of Robin's feelings towards me. I know that it is something more than the friendships he has with the others, but after I was stranded on that alien planet with him, I have become unsure of what he feels towards me. Perhaps he does not know.

Or perhaps he does not feel the same way for me as I do him. He could have been talking about friend Raven. Although it shames me to admit it, I have begun to feel the jealousy… because Robin and Raven are alike in as many ways as Robin and I are different. He seems to have no difficulty talking to her, whereas when he is around me, he engages in the blushing and the stuttering as if he is embarrassed to be there talking to me.

Oh! The _kmarganarff _is drying! I apologise for leaving, but I must remove it before an hour passes or it will become a part of my face, and that would be most unpleasant.

Goodbye, friend… um… I am unsure of your name, so I will simply say many thank you's for listening!

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(A/N: Well? Mustard good? Or Mustard bad? Review!)

Next: Robin has carried out his (very simple) plan, but what will he do? You'll just have to wait and see…


	11. Epilogue: The Solution

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or anything DC related.

_**Alphabetical Observations of the Titan Kind**_

_**Epilogue: The Solution**_

Robin's eyes drifted open and were dazzled by the sun. He moaned and turned away, but the damage had been done. Colours swirled and danced in the blackness of his closed eyes, preventing Robin from dropping back into his deep sleep. He reached over to the nightstand and put on the mask that lay there. Swinging his legs out of the bed, he looked over at the clock and was surprised and dismayed to see that it was ten in the morning. Usually he would be up about five hours ago, training completed, sitting in the lounge area with Raven (another early riser) until the rest of the Titans managed to drag themselves out of bed. But not today.

There was obviously something keeping him asleep, and he suspected his pesky subconscious was keeping him asleep to stave off the inevitable confrontation. He sighed and heaved himself up from the bed, trudging over to the shower in a half asleep daze. After showering and changing into a fresh Robin uniform, he headed to the lounge, hoping that his quarry wasn't there so he could avoid the confrontation long enough to have some breakfast. As he reached the doors, he stopped to gather himself. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward, and the doors pulled apart.

Robin breathed a sigh of relief as he realised that _she _wasn't in here. Cyborg was cooking something in the kitchen, Raven was meditating by the window, and Beast Boy was numbly flicking through the channels. Enjoying the relative silence, Robin walked into the kitchen area and poured himself a bowl of cereal, quietly taking a seat at the table and methodically munching away. After finishing, he took the bowl back to the kitchen and put it in the sink. He turned to look around the room, and took a breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say.

"Upstairs," all three of the rooms occupants said in unison, acting as a chorus.

Robin's eyes widened slightly. "What?"

"She's upstairs," they elaborated, their voices still in unison.

"What do you-?"

"Look man, just go upstairs and tell her. If you don't I'll get Fixit to tell her instead," Cyborg interjected.

Robin shuddered at the thought. "Well, okay, but-"

"The only butt you should be concerned with is yours and getting' it upstairs. NOW MOVE!"

Robin jumped up slightly in shock and quickly vacated the room. He heard the doors close behind him and stopped. He sighed heavily, his entire body moving with the motion. It seemed that he had little choice in the matter now. He walked slowly ahead and trudged up the stairs to the roof. As he opened the door he was greeted to a perfectly blue sky. He looked up in annoyance.

_Do you have to be so damn cheerful while I do this?_

He cast his eyes downward to see Starfire sat on the edge of the building, looking out to sea. She appeared to be following a small fishing boat that was slowly heading into the horizon, but Robin couldn't tell. He walked over and set down next to her.

_Okay, that's the easy part._

"Hello, Robin," Starfire said, her voice a quiet, thoughtful tone rather than her usual exclaimed greeting. She was always much quieter on the roof, and Robin had never been able to understand why.

"Hey Star," he said equally quietly, as if she were a small bird that would fly away if he were too loud. He looked out over the ocean, his eyes drifting to the same fishing boat that he assumed she was staring at. Keeping his eyes on the boat, he attempted to say something, but came up short. He waited for a few seconds and tried again, but his brain cancelled out on him, leaving him with an open mouth and nothing to say. Disgruntled, he settled for staring at the boat.

"Do you wish to discuss something with me, Robin?"

Robin smiled. "Yes! I mean… yes, I do."

Starfire looked over at him and smiled warmly; so warmly that his brain melted. "What would you like to discuss?"

Robin was silent for a moment, wanting what he said to have as little stuttering and nervous pauses as possible. "Do you remember when I came to talk to you yesterday?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember what we talked about?"

"Yes… you wished to talk about relationships in a team." Starfire blushed slightly and looked away, turning her gaze to the sea below them. "About… _romantic_ relationships."

Robin now knew what the phrase 'hot under the collar' meant. "Um… yeah. Anyway, I was asking everyone what they thought about that, because…"

Starfire looked up at him, a slight glimmer of something in her eyes; what exactly it was, Robin couldn't tell. Hope? Excitement? Both?

"Yes, Robin?"

"…because… of you."

The glimmer disappeared as Starfire's face became one of confusion. "The way you speak, Robin, it sounds as though you consider that a bad thing."

Robin frantically waved his hands in front of him. "No no no, that's not it! I mean, not exactly…"

Robin was becoming increasingly stupid, and Starfire was becoming increasingly annoyed, and he was well aware of this.

"Robin," she said, a certain amount of hurt appearing in her annoyed features, "do you think it is a bad thing I am on this team?"

"No, I mean… sometimes!"

"Why, Robin?"

Robin felt ready to explode. This _really _wasn't how he had planned it. Of course, he didn't have a plan on how to tell her at all. He never had plans when it came to her. Plans about her scared him.

"Because you don't fit!" Robin said, completely exasperated. Starfire stopped her questioning, surprised by the look on Robin's face. She had seen Robin show many emotions, but never exasperation. Robin didn't notice this silence, however, as he just went on. "Cyborg, Raven, Beast Boy, even Batman… they all fit somewhere in my life! In here!" he said, slamming his palm against his chest.

"But you, Star… you just…I don't know where you go! You… you do _something _and I don't know what… I just don't know…" he said, trailing off as he looked down at the rocks below, unable to meet Starfire's gaze. There was a long silence before Starfire spoke in a voice that was more befitting of a mouse.

"If that is the case… then perhaps I had better go."

She seemed ready to push herself to her feet when a gloved hand covered hers.

"Don't, Star. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to do that."

She remained still and Robin delicately removed his hand. Then Robin did something that Starfire wasn't expecting; he laughed. It was only a short one, but it was an unexpected result.

"I'm sorry, Star…" he said, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.

"For what?"

"For not being… able to do this. I know that on Tamaran the males are very direct about this kind of thing, especially the warriors-"

"How do you know about such things, Robin?" Starfire asked curiously.

Robin raised an eyebrow before realising what she was talking about. "Oh! Well, before we left on our last… visit, I asked Galfore if I could have some books on Tamaranian culture."

This time Starfire raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I'd like to go back there with you sometime. Uh, with the other Titans, you know…" Robin said, panicking slightly before catching his breath again. "Because it'd be nice to go there sometime… you know, when you're not getting married to a big green, smelly, whatever-it-is."

Starfire and Robin shared a small laugh, and both seemed to relax. Robin turned his entire body towards Starfire so he could look her in the eyes.

"Look, Star, the point I was trying to make is that… I know that you're used to guys who just come up and tell you about how they feel about you, but… Earth guys, we're… well, _I'm_ not very good at… that kind of thing. So… just because I don't tell someone I care about them, that doesn't mean that I don't actually care; it's… just that I have a hard time talking about it."

Starfire nodded slowly. "I see."

"And," Robin said, taking Starfire's small hands in his own, "even though I can't say a simple four letter word that would so easily describe how I feel about you, it _doesn't mean I don't feel it_. Because I do. A lot."

Starfire's eyes seemed to glitter as she grinned, and Robin tried to ignore the wetness of her eyes, afraid that he might be tempted to let loose few tears of his own. They both stood, their hands knotted together in front of them. Slowly, they let their arms wrap around each other, resting their heads on each others' shoulders as they remained frozen in that moment.

After what seemed an eternity, Robin pulled his head back and put his forehead against Starfire's.

"Care to join me downstairs for lunch?" he asked quietly.

"That would be most enjoyable."

They walked over to the door leading downstairs, Starfire looping her arm through Robin's.

"In truth, I knew that you were asking all of our friends."

Robin frowned, although he wasn't troubled by the news. Nothing could have troubled him at that moment. "Is that right?"

Starfire nodded as they reached the door. "Yes – friend Beast Boy told me."

"Dude! I so did _not_!" a muffled voice said from behind the door. Robin opened the door and Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven tumbled out. They looked up from their tangled position on the ground and each of them smiled innocently; except for Raven, who simply scowled.

"You owe me five bucks, BB," Cyborg said, making no move to get up from the tangled mess. Beast Boy let out a 'FFnnnrrr' and Raven just let out a frustrated breath through her nose.

"I wonder if the Titans East have an opening…"

Robin just looked down at the pile below him and smiled. He took a grand step over his three friends and extended his hand to Starfire. "How about we grab a slice of pizza instead?"

Starfire took his hand and joined him on the stairs, once again looping her arm through his. "And a movie also?"

Robin smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

The End.

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(A/N: That's all folks! I tried to avoid making this chapter like so many RobStar one shots I've seen that just go 'I love you Robin' 'I love you Starfire' LOL THEZ R KISSINGZ, so review and tell me if I did a good job or not.

I'd like to thank DC, WB and the production team that brought us the Teen Titans, because well, they're so damn good.

I'd also like to thank fanfiction and most importantly, you the reader. Even if you didn't review (shame on you), it feels very gratifying to see so many people reading something I wrote. And for those of you who did review (you rock, by the way), I would like to thank you for taking the time to actually review in the first place (even though it only takes a few seconds, you non reviewers) and for the feedback, since it actually _did _help me to finish this and make it as good (I hope) as it was.

P.S. Don't forget to review this chapter too.

Peace out, amigos.)


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